The quickening
by Avilia
Summary: Continuation,  sort of,  of my Anders prompt The first and set in that universe.  Caethes a Dalish elf warden finds herself falling for a human.
1. Chapter 1

"A sovereign! A whole sovereign."

"Take it."

Callie took the coin and tucked it away in her pocket. "All I have to do is get him alone?"

"Take him to the Gnawed Noble."

"Wouldn't the Pearl be better?"

"Did you not hear me?"

"I heard you. I just think the Pearl would be better is all."

"Take Nathaniel Howe to the Gnawed Noble tavern. Room 5."

"I." Callie had hoped she could use the opportunity to do a little thievery of her own. Another look at her employer quickly changed her mind. "The Gnawed Noble."

"Room 5. Don't forget. I'll be, upset, if you forget."

"No my lady I won't forget. Promise."

. . .

Men were so predictable. Always, so predictable. It's what made them easy to kill. Show them a pretty girl who's willing to bed them and everything else leaves their minds.

Predictable. And a little pathetic.

Leaning back into the shadows she listened. There they were. She could hear that witless tart giggling.

The door opened slowly, letting the light from the hallway stream in to hit the bed. She hoped her opportunity would come quickly, she had no wish to watch them roll around.

The door slammed back suddenly, forcing her head into the stone wall and knocking her out.

"Here." Nate gave the girl the two sovereigns. "As promised. And thank you."

"Thank you ser." Callie moved away to let him pull the woman out from behind the door. "You won't tell it was me what told you?"

"Never fear. I owe you my life, I won't forget that."

Crouching down he studied the woman lying on the floor. "What a mess." Reaching out he touched the scars bisecting her face lightly. "Poor child."

"You know her ser?"

"Yes. I know her." It didn't require much effort to lift her. Too little for his liking. "You'd best leave now girl." He heard the door close and moved to the bed.

"You're a problem aren't you Rowena? What in Thedas am I going to do with you?" He put her down gently then sat on the bed. "Look at you, all grown up. Grown up and angry by what that girl tells me."

The hand he slipped behind her head came away with blood. Not much but enough that it was worrying. "Ironic if I killed you. Ironic and tragic."

He'd have to find a healer and quickly. Praying she'd not die while he was gone, Nate hurried out.

. . .

Rowena woke to the feel of something brushing her face. Instantly alert she grabbed it and felt for her dagger.

"You're not armed." Nate let her hold his wrist while he waited for her to remember where she was. "And I'm not attacking you."

"What?"

"I hit you with the door. Harder than I intended."

"I'm surprised you didn't slit my throat and have done with it." Realising what she was holding, Rowena let go.

"Why would I do that?"

"Isn't that what you Howes do? Murder people."

"Weren't you here to do just that? Or was it a friendly visit?"

"Friendly. I thought you might like to meet my dagger."

It was some comfort that she'd retained that sharp tongue. Something his father had despised her for. Women should be meek and silent in his opinion and even as a child Rowena had been neither.

"Rowena." Nate sighed. What could he possibly say to her? "I'm sorry."

"Sorry your father murdered my family? Sorry he took everything from us because of some twisted idea we were responsible for his failures? Or are you sorry Fergus and I managed to survive?"

"I'm sorry for what my father did to your family. I don't expect that it matters to you, but I am."

"You're right it doesn't matter." She wouldn't let it matter. "I will kill you Nathaniel."

She reminded him so much of himself when he first come back from the Marches. So determined to kill the Commander. So full of anger and hatred for what he'd seen as the injustice done to his family. Unlike him however, Rowena had good reason to hate his family.

"You've waited a long time to come. I've been at the Vigil for two years. Why now?"

"They gave it back to you. Those bastards gave it back to you."

"Ah." Sighing again he stood and walked a few paces away. "Its not mine."

"They made you Arl!"

"Rowena, the Warden Commander represents the Order. If I'm moved on the next Commander will be Arl too." He could see she didn't understand, or didn't care. "It wasn't given to my family but to the Wardens."

"It's too much. You should have nothing!"

"Rowena."

"Nothing!"

Unable to do anything but try to comfort her, Nate sat and tried to put his arms around her. After a second of struggling she went limp and sobbed into his neck.

Some part of Rowena knew she was being unfair, that it wasn't Nate's fault. That he was as much a victim of his father's madness as she was.

She was so mired in her own grief and anger that she didn't listen to that part of her. Instead she listened to her rage and when she felt the dagger he had sheathed on his belt, she slipped it free.

. . .

"Anders."

Anders glanced up from the spell he was attempting to learn and grinned a the sight of his friend and Commander leaning in the doorway. "Your lady friend all better now?"

"I." Nate desperately tried to stay upright. "I need."

"Maker are you bleeding!" He was up and half way across the room when Nate collapsed.

...

"Oh yes, big doings since you were last here Warden. Had two of your lot staying with us for a while."

"Did you?" Caethes listened politely. Ever since the Blight this cursed bartender seemed to think she wanted to hear every piece of idle gossip he could lay his ears on. Why, the creators only knew.

"We did. Pity that Commander of yours died like that. Stabbed right here in the Gnawed Noble. Took us days to get the blood out of the floor."

"Died?" He couldn't mean Nathaniel, could he? "Nathaniel Howe?"

"That's right. That Arl's son. Some woman stabbed him during a lovers tiff. The Warden that was with him had to kill her to get near the body." He frowned at the elf. "Are you alright Warden? You look a little odd.


	2. Chapter 2

"Anders."

Hearing his name, he looked up from frowning at the spell book. Cursed thing was turning out to be more difficult than he thought it would be.

"Caethes! What." That was as far as he got before finding himself holding an armful of elf. "Hello to you too." She didn't seem to be letting go. "What's wrong?"

"Oh Anders."

He felt her shudder a second before the tears started. "Don't cry pet. I've got you." There must be a reason for this. It wasn't the usual thing to not see someone for 2 years and then have them turn up to cry on you. Not that he was complaining, she was a cuddlesome female and he'd been without female company for at least a week.

He had the feeling that this might be best dealt with by another man however. Turning them both around he found what he was looking for and tried waving an arm. No good. This might require drastic measures.

When a shot of lighting hit him in the arse Nate scowled and lowered his bow. Cursed smart alec mage. Glancing around he saw Anders standing near the Keep gate waving at him. He appeared to have found himself a female. Hoping this wasn't another one of Anders' dramas that would require him to come up with an excuse why Anders was needed in Denerim, Nate walked over to them.

"Did you need me Anders?"

"I think this might be yours." Pushing Caethes gently back he turned her around. "Arms out."

"Caethes?" She let out a wail and threw herself at him, leaving him to pat her back. "Did you upset her?"

"Me? Maker no. She walked up to me and started crying all over my robe. Now I know she likes me but I wouldn't think she'd be that happy to see me."

"He said you were dead!"

It was hard to understand through the sobbing, but Nate was able to decypher it. "I'm fine love."

Feeling like an indulgent matchmaker, Anders patted Caethes gently on the back. "I'll just leave you two alone shall I? I can recommend that nice copse of trees over there for privacy." Adding a pat to Nate's shoulder for good measure he wandered off to find a quiet spot to try the spell again.

"Why would you think I was dead?"

"He said. He said."

"Shh. Its alright. Tell me later." He was content to stand here holding her for now. What or who had brought her back didn't matter. The only thing that did matter was that she was here.

"Everything alright Commander?"

"Fine. Thank you."

Perhaps that copse of trees was a good idea at that. Swinging Caethes up Nate carried her down the path then off into the trees.

Thankfully by the time he put her back on her feet, she'd stopped crying. "Up you go." Giving her a heave he managed to get her high enough to sit on the lowest branch, then climbed quickly up to sit next to her.

"Now tell me what's wrong."

Taking a shaky breath Caethes tried to settle herself. "I feel silly now."

"Silly? Why, because you cried?"

Oh creators. She'd just come to see Anders. To find out what had happened to Nathaniel. Now here he was alive and well and. What if he'd found someone? One day they'd spent together, one day and half of that with Anders. It wasn't as if he owed her anything. She'd left him after all. After telling him he wasn't good enough for her.

Nate waited but Caethes just sat there, staring at him with an odd expression on her face.

"Caethes?"

"The bartender at the Tavern in Denerim said you were dead. Stabbed by your lover." She hit him when he laughed. "Its not funny."

"Sorry, no, it isn't." Lifting the hand she'd hit him with, Nate held it between his. "I was stabbed at the Gnawed Noble but not by a lover. Anders was with me thankfully and managed to patch me up."

"Who stabbed you?"

"Its not important, what's important is that you're here."

"I."

"Or am I presuming too much? Did you come to mourn and now I'm alive you're going to leave me again?"

"I thought you were dead. It was like something tearing at my insides. All I could think of was coming here to see Anders. Find out what happened."

"And now?"

"Have you, is there." Determined to ask, Caethes tried again. "Have you found someone?"

"I have someone Caethes. That she chooses not to stay with me doesn't make her any less mine." Her bottom lip quivered. "Its your choice."

"We only had one day. How can you know from that? How can I?"

"You know." He'd dreamed of those eyes, tormenting, vivid dreams. Those bright blue eyes that he'd thought to never see again. "You don't have to decide now. Stay for a while. See if you still like me after more than one day."

Nothing had changed really. She was still Dalish and he was still human. The only thing different was she knew how it felt to think him gone from the world. "I'll stay."

. . .

"Let me see if I understand this." Anders propped his feet up on the dining table and had a mouthful of ale. "Caethes is staying."

"Yes."

"To see if she likes you?"

"Yes."

"And there's no kissing involved."

"No."

"And finally, and this to me is the strangest part, no sex either? I've wondered about your sanity in the past Howe, but now I'm convinced you're insane."

"She needs to decide without any distractions."

"Sex isn't a distraction, its a necessity."

Nate often wondered if Anders really believed half the things he said. If his humour and seeming lack of commitment to anything but his own pleasure was a facade to hide the real man.

He'd seen Anders in battle and while treating the wounded often enough to have caught glimpses of someone else. Someone who took life very seriously and seemed to have an endless capacity for compassion and empathy.

"Not everyone treats sex like their next meal."

"No? Well they should."

After sipping his own ale, Nate decided to distract Anders with something he'd find interesting. "Caethes is a healer of sorts."

"Hmm. Yes I know."

"She tells me she also specialises in what you call the entropy school of spell casting. Hexes and the like."

"Hexes! Andraste's knickers! I wonder if she knows that cursed spell I've been trying to work for the last year?"

"I mentioned that to her and she's happy to help you with it."

"I knew she'd be good to have around! Much friendlier than Velanna."

"Refused you again?"

"Pfft. Woman's not normal." Frowning darkly he tried to decide what was wrong with her. Then something struck him as odd. "What do you mean a healer of sorts? She healed me didn't she?"

"Caethes knows two healing spells. The rest was battle field surgery and luck."

"What! Maker's breath I'm thankful I survived!"

"Your injuries weren't that bad. Hit your head and some scratches from the Darkspawn."

"Scratches! Scratches! I have deep and permanent scars etched into my chest from those scratches Howe."

"Ah huh."

"My beauty is forever marred."

"Ah huh."

"Battle field surgery and luck indeed."


	3. Chapter 3

_Ar__chery lesson inspired by the beautiful art of __Fabriel_

"Pull it back slowly. Don't hold too tightly with your fingers. Hook them around. That's right." Nate put one arm around Caethes' waist and the other on her shoulder. "Slowly now. Hold it."

Sighting down the arrow Caethes wondered if this was a good time to remind Nathaniel she was Dalish. She might be a mage but had learned to use a bow before she could walk. He moved closer until she could feel him pressed against her back and she decided it wasn't a good time. Perhaps in a year or so she'd tell him.

"Once you have the target sighted let the arrow go." The arrow flew past the target to embed itself in the keep wall. "Better."

The arm around her waist tightened pulling her back. "Hmm." This was much better than target practice. "Its cold isn't it."

"Very." He'd never noticed how attractive her neck was. Was it considered kissing if you just nibbled on someone's neck?

Was he biting her neck? "Oh creators." Nate's hand moved from her shoulder down until it was resting on her stomach and she was pulled back harder into his body.

Anders stopped with one foot in the air, then slowly put it down. "Someone fetch a bucket of water."

"Fire ser?"

"Will be in a moment if they keep that up." Now the 'no sex' rule made sense. They didn't need sex, it appeared all they needed to do was practice their 'archery' skills. He heard the guard cough and laughed softly. "Better stop them before the whole keep starts salivating."

Anders walked quickly past the well and lifted the half filled bucket. "This isn't going to make me popular, but its for their own good." After checking the water wasn't frozen, he trotted down to where they were standing and tossed it over them.

Nate held a gasping Caethes and glared at Anders. "Do you think that was funny?"

"No, of course not. I was trying to be helpful."

"Helpful." He shook his and watched the water spray out. "I just thought of a little task I need you to perform. Anders. In Denerim."

"It." Oh curse it. No point trying to explain, he'd known they'd be angry. That's what you got for being public spirited. Growling he stomped back to the keep, throwing the bucket at the well on his way past.

"Its very cold now."

"Yes."

"A hot bath would be nice." She felt Nate's chest vibrate when he laughed.

. . .

"You didn't really send Anders to Denerim did you? Sigrun said he was very annoyed."

"I did and he was."

"He was trying to be helpful."

"I know that."

Caethes swallowed the urge to laugh. She wouldn't have thought Nate could be childish. Another new thing she'd learned about him. The neck nibbling thing she tucked away in the back of her mind. In case she needed it later.

"I think you shouldn't teach me anything that requires touching. It might cause, problems."

"Problems?"

"Yes. Problems." She looked up when the servant put a meal in front of her and smiled. "Thank you sister." The elf looked startled, then smiled shyly and nodded before moving away.

"You scared her."

"Being polite scared her?"

"Not being rude scared her." Nate pulled his own meal closer and lifted a fork. "She's used to Velanna."

"Velanna is just." Caethes took a bite and tried to think of a polite way of describing Velanna.

"Angry?'

"Yes, but also very deeply troubled and hurt. We need to find a way to help her."

"Heh. You wouldn't say that if you'd heard those two carrying on when the other Commander was here." Oghren plonked himself down next to Caethes and dropped his plate with a clatter. "Made me blush."

"Oh?"

"Oghren." Nate lifted his ale mug and seriously considered throwing it at the dwarf. "How would you like a trip to Weisshaupt?"

"Don't be silly, its alright." She'd left hadn't she? Caethes knew it was unreasonable to expect that Nathaniel hadn't. With anyone.

"Eh?" Oghren looked from Caethes to Nate and back. "I've got the brain of a boiled nug. I didn't mean anything by it, just making a bad joke."

"Don't fret." Caethes touched his hand lightly. "I said its alright." Time to change the subject. "This stew is good isn't it?" She looked up when Nathaniel put his hand over hers.

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Oh."

Nate had to smile when she flushed and looked down at the table.

Oghren blinked and tried not to look as uncomfortable as he felt. All this mushy stuff was a bit much when a man was trying to eat. "You two want privacy?"

"No." They spoke at the same time, then laughed.

"Heh. I'll stay then. Can't have you two causing a scene in the dining room. The courtyard was bad enough."

"You heard about that?" Her blush was less pleased and more embarrassed this time. "Who else knows?"

"The whole Keep."

"Anders." Nate wished he'd sent him further than Denerim. Par Vollen would have been good.

"Nah, the mage didn't say anything." After a huge mouthful of ale, Oghren dove in to the stew. "The half dozen guards posted there. They said a lot."

Dear Creators. "That's embarrassing."

"Hadn't seen anything like it since the siege. Anders threw fireballs around that weren't that hot."

"Oh dear."

"You're not helping Oghren."

"What?"

"Just eat. Don't share information. Eat."

. . .

"How does feel to know you've betrayed your own people?"

"What?" Caethes had never found Velanna particularly friendly, but this was the first time she'd been so openly hostile. "I don't understand.'

"Laying with that human. Polluting your blood. Betraying everything you're supposed to believe in. What's next, pushing out little half breed babies?"

Her first instinct was to defend herself. But something stopped her. What right did this woman have to judge her behaviour?

"I don't see how its any of your concern."

"Its my concern because I'm Dalish. Its my responsibility to worry about the future of my people."

"They're my people too Velanna." Caethes had done more for her people than Velanna could even dream of. Their own homeland. "I've done."

Velanna interrupted ruthlessly. "Anything you may or may not have done means nothing. Flat ears."

"Don't call me that. I'm just as Dalish as you are."

"Huh. You let that human put his hands on you, lie with you. In my clan we'd kill you for that. You're a disgrace to your clan and I don't acknowledge you as Dalish. You're no better than the whores working in the human city brothels."

What could she say to that? Caethes may not have lain with Nathaniel but she might. Probably would one day. Which made some of what Velanna had said correct.

She wasn't Dalish any longer. If that was so, what was she?

Velanna watched the flat eat walk away without arguing and sniffed.

"You ever talk to her like that again, I'm going slice you up for nug bait."

"Don't threaten me dwarf."

Sigrun chuckled. "That wasn't a threat, elf, that was polite conversation. A threat is where I punch you first."

Sigrun liked the Commander a lot and so far his lady was nice. Caethes was always so polite, nothing like she'd expected a Dalish to be after meeting Velanna. She never sneered at the elven servants or called them 'flat ears'. Velanna wasn't polite to any one. Seemed to think she was better than the rest of them.

"I'd like to see you try it."

"No you wouldn't. Might mess up that snooty face of yours."

. . .

The soft touch on his face woke him. "What?"

"Shh." Caethes pulled the blankets down. "Its me."

"Caethes. What are you doing?"

"Don't talk." If he did, she might change her mind. "Just let me."

Nate tried to get his mind to work. No easy task after being woken in the middle of the night by a naked female. Particularly a naked female he'd been dreaming about. "I don't think we should do this."

"Shh."

There was something wrong with this. Something very wrong. "Stop that."

His objection wasn't very firm, so she ignored it and slid up his body intending to kiss him.

He managed to make himself stop her, just before their lips met. "No."

"Don't you want me?"

"That's a foolish question. You know I do."

"Then let me."

"No!" It took some effort but he pushed her further away. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Why should something be wrong?"

"You're naked in my bed. There's something wrong."

"I thought. Everyone thinks we're sharing a bed. Why not make it true."

"I see." That didn't sound like her at all. "Who upset you?"

"Why should someone have upset me? Can't I just decide I want to do this?" Caethes absolutely refused to cry. She'd already cried more since coming back than she had since Tamlen died.

"Who was it?"

"They say it pollutes the blood. Did you know that?"

Sighing he pulled her down and held on. "I know." Only Velanna would say something like that to Caethes.

"You're exiled. Not Dalish any longer."

"I know."

Caethes sighed, feeling some comfort from his presence. "Its difficult."

"I won't tell you to leave. I can't."

"That's why I'm still here."

"Go to sleep love. Nothing to decide right now."

"Not right now."

It took a while but he eventually felt her fall asleep. Stroking the soft skin of her back gently, Nate knew he should be worrying about how upset Caethes had been. About what he needed to say to Velanna.

No matter what Anders might think however, he was a man. A man with a naked female lying on top of his equally naked body.

He wasn't sure but he thought it was entirely possible he'd go mad before morning.

. . .

Taking one last look at the occupant of his bed, Nate gently closed the door. This early in the morning he should be able to get outside without anyone bothering him.

Thankfully the hallways were empty and he didn't see anyone until he reached the entrance hall. Oghren was there cleaning his axe. Lovely. He strode past without stopping, hoping just this once, the dwarf could take a hint.

"You alright Commander?" Oghren trotted to catch up with Nate. "You look a little. I don't know, tense."

"I'm fine."

"Well okay, if you say so." Stopping Oghren watched him head for the door. "Where you going?"

"To throw myself in the moat."

"Oh? Heh."

Nate was almost to the gate when he heard Oghren's voice drift down. "We don't have a moat!"

"I'll dig one."


	4. Chapter 4

"I'd appreciate it if in future you refrained from attacking Caethes."

"What's wrong Shem, worried she'll run off?"

Nate sighed. "Are you naturally this poisonous, or do you have to practice?"

"Oh naturally. All those years of watching my people die at the hands of yours makes it easy."

That again. While Nate had nothing but sympathy for the Dalish, all elves in fact, he was a little tired of Velanna blaming him for his race's misdeeds.

"Perhaps you'd prefer to leave."

"Throwing me out Shem? Doesn't the hero of Ferelden have the back bone to face me?"

"The hero of Ferelden is too polite to tell you to shut up. I'm not. So, Velanna, shut up or I'll have you reassigned to Wiesshaupt."

. . .

"Excuse me Seneschal, I need to see the Commander. A message from Amaranthine."

Garavel sighed. "You can't see him right now Seth, is it important?"

"I'm not sure ser. Sorry to inquire but where is he?"

Instead of answering Garavel looked up. Towards the ceiling.

"Oh. Yes, ser. I'll come back in a while."

. . .

It always looked so peaceful from here. Even during the darkspawn troubles, when he'd come up here to think, it had looked peaceful.

Nate closed his eyes and listened to the sound the wind made as it passed over the roof tiles. It was a low, almost gentle, hum. Over that he could hear the birds chattering to each other as they went about their business and every now and then, the sound of the people milling in the court yard.

Since his appointment as commander he'd not found much time to be alone and just sit. He could come up at night, but he needed to sleep, or he wouldn't be as effective.

Hearing his own thoughts he smiled. Lilibeth had often accused him of being too focused on his duty.

"You'll kill yourself if you don't have fun every now and then Nathaniel." It was an odd thing but he missed hearing that soft Orlesian accent. She'd proven a good friend and comrade and now she was gone.

Reassigned thankfully, not dead.

Thinking of Lilibeth he remembered she'd been here when Caethes had come the first time. After dragging Anders out of a pile of darkspawn corpses and healing him.

Caethes. The reason he'd come up to the roof.

When she'd come back he'd been, happy. Again he smiled at himself. Happy. What a mild way to describe how he'd felt. Thinking him dead she'd come back to mourn. Finding him alive she'd agreed to stay.

Almost a month had passed since then and nothing had changed. They spent their days as friends and comrades and their nights apart. Rarely touching, rarely speaking of anything personal. As if they were both avoiding the need to face it.

Opening his eyes Nate stared blindly into the distance. He'd lied to Velanna. Caethes hadn't told her to shut up because she'd seen the truth of what Velanna had said. As did he.

Could he ask her to give up everything she was and believed in? What did he offer that would be a fair trade for that kind of sacrifice?

Love?

The curse of his life was his need to be logical. He wanted to believe that love could overcome all obstacles and would last forever.

He knew that was fantasy. He knew he could love Caethes with his whole being and still, it might not last. It might die one day and she'd be here, no longer welcome with her own people, because she'd loved him. How could he say he loved her and still ask her to stay?

Nate wasn't sure he could.

A shout from the courtyard drew him out of his thoughts and he stood. Walking carefully to the edge of the roof he peered down.

"What's amiss!"

Hearing him, the guard turned to look up. "Ser Anders Commander, he's back. You'd best come down."

. . .

Anders looked almost dead on his feet. "This can wait. You need to rest."

"No. I need. Need to tell you. Rowena, she, hired a blood mage to use me to kill you."

"She. What?"

"The blood mage is dead. Rowena might still be a problem."

"I'd hoped she'd seen sense."

"She may try something else once she learns about the mage."

"That's a certainty. It might be time for us to find Rowena Cousland."

"Yes." Anders blinked and the world went black. Oh, his eyes were still closed. Forcing them open he found Nate frowning at him. "I'm. Fine."

"You're not fine. Go see Caethes, she's in your room with your friend."

"Yes ser." Turning to leave he paused at the sound of Nate's question.

"Who is your friend, you didn't say?"

"Just a friend. She helped me and when she fell sick I couldn't leave her behind."

"No, you couldn't. Go rest."

Watching him stumble out of the hall, Nate shook his head. Of all people, Anders couldn't leave a friend behind. One day that soft heart would get him in serious trouble.

"Orders Commander?"

"Yes Garavel. Fetch me a scout. A good one. I have someone we need to find. I'll also need a messenger to go to Highever Castle."

"Message for the Teryn ser?"

"Yes. Send the messenger and the scout to my rooms."

"Yes ser." Privately Garavel thought it was past time the Commander went looking for that Cousland wench. Letting her get away with almost killing him was beyond foolish to his mind. He wasn't the Commander though, and he assumed he had his reasons. Bit soft-headed if you asked him, not something he'd usually say about a Howe.

. . .

"Gwyn ser. The Seneschal said you wanted me?"

"You're the scout?" She nodded. Nate would have to trust Garavel that she was good. He didn't have time to worry over it. "I need you to find Rowena Cousland." He pushed a drawing across the table. "Take that with you. This is the best we can do."

"Its alright ser, I know Lady Rowena. That's to say, I've seen her. My mother was a servant at Highever Castle." His eyes sharpened, asking a question silently and she nodded. "Yes ser, she was killed when the late Arl's men took the Castle."

"I'm sorry Gwyn. I know that's not much, but I am."

"I don't blame you ser, you were away weren't you. Samuel says we can't hold it to your account and I agree."

"I appreciate that." If only Rowena had the same opinion, things would be much simpler. "Does Rowena know you?"

"I doubt that ser, daughter of a servant in a place like that. Likely she'd never have noticed me at all."

"Good. I don't want you hurt. Sit down and I'll tell you what we know."

Gwyn sat and listened while the Commander gave her orders. This was the first time she'd spoken to him directly and so far she'd found him just as Samuel had said. It was nice that he was worried for her safety. Most nobles wouldn't care if she lived or died, as long as their needs were met. Not this one it seemed.

"Do you want me to kill her ser?"

"I'd prefer you didn't. Find her and report what you can to me. I don't like that she was prepared to use Anders to kill me."

"No ser." Anders, that was that mage that flirted with all the females.

"If I'm right, she won't be far away. She'll be watching now Anders is back."

"I'll find her ser, never you worry." Gwyn was surprised when he smiled at her. "Was I funny ser?"

"You sounded like my nanny."

"Your nanny was an elf?"

"No. She just talked like one."

"Yes ser."

Nate made a mental note to make sure Anders met Gwyn. The mage would never accuse him of being humourless ever again.

"That's all Gwyn."

"Yes ser."

Nate watched her stand to leave and something caught his eye in the corner of the room. "Hold a moment." Standing he went to lift it. "Are you an archer at all?"

"Yes ser." He held the bow out and she took it. "Ser?"

"Take it. You'll get better use of it than I do and it might bring you luck."

"Oh." Struck silent she could only stare at it. She'd never owned a bow this fine. "Ser, I couldn't its too nice for me."

"Are you arguing with me?"

"No ser."

Finally she smiled at him. "There now, you be careful."

Overwhelmed by his casual generosity, Gwyn gave into the impulse to hug him. "Thank you, I won't forget this."

"Use it well girl."

"I will." Refusing to admit she was crying she grinned. "Never you worry about that."

. . .

Another one of his flat eared tarts. Velanna sneered at the young elf when she walked past her. "Whore."

Gwyn stopped. "Did you call me a whore?"

"I did. Another one that lets that Shem put his hands on her. I see the bow. Fair payment for your services was it?"

Garavel blinked. "Did that elf just punch Velanna?"

"She did." Sigrun grinned. "Nice one too. Got her right on the nose."

"You don't disrespect the Commander." Satisfied with that, Gwyn continued down the hall to the keep door.


	5. Chapter 5

_This is a bit of a juggling act now. The time lines of this and my other story The Hedge witch cross here. I'm hoping I've given enough information from that story in this one so it makes sense to anyone who's not read the other. Phew. Apologies if any of it seems odd._

"He lied to me Caethes, Anders lied to me. If that wasn't bad enough, he brought a maleficar to the Vigil. A maleficar he told me was dead!" Incensed he swept his hand across the desk throwing all the books and papers to the floor.

"He's in love Nathaniel, you understand that don't you?"

"I understand that he's dangerously close to finding himself in a cell."

Caethes held onto her staff a little tighter. She'd never seen him this angry. Things had been quiet since she'd arrived, perhaps that's why.

"Ceri doesn't seem dangerous."

"Doesn't seem dangerous? She's a maleficar for Andraste's sake! A maleficar who seems to be out of her mind. And if that isn't enough, when I questioned him, he attacked me."

"Anders stunned you. Hardly an attack."

"He attacked me. His Commander." Nate took a few deep slow breaths to calm down.

"You gave him two days. I don't think that's enough time. Will you wait longer to call the Templars." Why was he looking at her like that?

"Call the Templars?" She couldn't seriously believe he'd do that, could she?

"Two days you said."

"So I did." He took a step forward and kicked something. A book. He'd made a mess hadn't he? "I apologise for losing my temper." Too many restless nights and nothing to think about but her. Then Velanna and now this.

"No need to apologise."

Maker after all this time they were still so formal. What was the point of this beside torturing himself with what he wanted and couldn't have? What it appeared he'd never be able to have?

"I've sent a scout after Rowena Cousland and a message to her brother. I'm hopeful we'll have some news soon and finish this."

This wasn't the time for it but he'd given her an opening so she'd take it. "The scout, that's the girl you gave your bow to?"

"Yes." His mess, he'd clean it up. Crouching Nate started piling the books in a stack. "Why do you ask?"

"Velanna said." She stopped when he looked up at her. "I'm sorry."

"For what? Believing something that vicious tongued harpy said? Or believing I'd have a quick tumble with a girl I'd never seen before?"

"Nathaniel."

"To answer your question, yes, I gave her my bow." His grandfather's bow. It had seemed apt. "Gwyn's mother was murdered by my father's men when they took Highever Castle. Call it reparation if you will."

Creator's curse her jealousy. She should have known he wouldn't do something like that to her. "You made a friend for life I think. Sigrun tells me your Gwyn punched Velanna on her way out of the Keep."

"Garavel told me." He imagined Velanna had seen the bow and said something vile to Gwyn. "Velanna needs to pick her targets more carefully. Gwyn is a soldier, of sorts, she's used to responding to insults with direct action." Going back to collecting books, Nate smiled to himself. He'd have to have Garavel put Gwyn on the Keep staff. She might prove useful.

His immediate problem was Anders and this Ceri he'd brought with him. "I'd like you to go to Anders' room and see if they need your help."

"I will."

"I understand Anders wants to protect her but we don't have time for that now. We need Ceri's memories of Rowena. We need to know what she told Ceri and if she knows anything at all about her plans or where she is."

. . .

Two days had come and gone, leaving him pacing the Hall impatiently. Wondering what was going on, why Anders hadn't reported in. He'd sent Caethes away when she'd offered her help, he was confident he could manage.

Then Ceri had come to see him. Alone which was odd at first, until she'd explained.

Apparently she was dead, or had been dead, and Anders had brought her back to life. Most of her back to life. It was too confusing for a non-mage so Nate had just accepted it. Anders was mourning the part of Ceri that had died. Taking it very badly from what she'd said so she'd knocked him out with a sleep spell.

Determined to ignore her propensity to flirt with him, Nate decided it was a good time to see what she remembered.

"Can I trust you Ceri?" Oddly he thought she'd tell him the truth. He'd already decided she liked to shock with the truth. Now they'd see if she could tell it otherwise.

"I think so."

"You're not sure?"

"I want to be trustworthy. I like you."

"That's good to know." He'd done it again! What was it about this cursed woman? "Pardon me."

"You're funny." Anders had called Nathaniel an arch-demon. He didn't seem that bad to her. "Anders says you're an arch-demon."

"Does he?" That would be in response to his two day ultimatum. Hopefully.

"I told him you made a command decision. Can't have an unstable maleficar in the Keep. Could be dangerous."

"I lied, remember?"

"I know that now." Ceri frowned when her hair fell across her face. "This is annoying. Can I have your dagger?"

"Not if you're planning on cutting that off." Nate pulled a tie off his hair and held it out. "Tie it up."

"Yes ser." She bundled her hair up in a pony tail. "I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Ready to see why you need to trust me."

Oh right. "Tell me everything you know about Rowena Cousland and what she has planned."

"I don't know very much. She found me and threatened to tell Caladrius where I was. I asked what she wanted me to do and she said I had to use mind control on Anders so he'd kill you."

"Nothing else?"

"Not really. I asked her why Anders, her answer was a bit odd."

"Odd?" If Ceri considered it odd, it must be cursed odd.

"She said, 'he's the last one they'd expect'."

"That's not odd, its true. Anders would never kill anyone unless he had to. Killing me would be, unexpected."

"Oh. Not odd then? I just didn't understand. It makes sense, Anders is a healer. He has yummy hands."

"Yummy? No. Don't elaborate. I'll take your word for it." She giggled and he had to smile. "Why did you change your mind about the control spell?"

"I didn't. Anders found the pendant I stole to use as a focus. He was angry. Very angry."

"I imagine so."

Ceri nodded. "He tied me up and threatened to torture me."

"He. What?"

"I think he was sorry afterwards."

"If he wasn't he will be soon."

"No! Don't. Please. Let me and Anders be. If he decides I have to leave that will be an end to it."

. . .

"Its a mess Caethes."

"You'll sort things out." He laughed and she realised it was the first time she'd heard Nathaniel laugh for days. "Is that funny?"

"Only that I can't see how this can end well. I have no wish to see Rowena dead."

"Then you won't."

"She may leave me no choice." The bed dipped and he turned his head to see her sitting on the side. "Are you sure you want to be that close to me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" She touched his hand only to have him pull away. "Nathaniel, what's wrong?"

"Wrong? What's right would be a simpler question." This time when she touched his hand he didn't move it. "Are you happy with this? This half world we've fallen into? Where we act as friends and go along as if there's nothing more?"

"I." Caethes was ashamed to say she was happy with it. Drifting as they'd done had meant she could forget there were decisions she had to make. Decisions about her relationship with Nathaniel. "Yes. I am."

"I'm not. I know this is a difficult thing for you but I don't think I'm able to." Frustrated he stopped. "Never mind. We have other things to occupy ourselves with for now."

"Should we talk about this now?"

"I won't force you into a decision. I told you when you agreed to stay that it was your choice." He just hadn't thought she'd leave it so long to decide. "Are you ready to make a choice?"

"No. Not yet."

Nate hoped she was ready soon. Very soon. His mood was becoming increasingly touchy and this latest news about Rowena wasn't helping.

Gwyn hovered in the doorway but they didn't notice her. She tried not to listen but it was difficult, so she put on her 'servant' face. The one her mother had told her to wear when she served in the dining hall at the Castle.

"Never hear a word they say Gwynnie. No matter how scandalous. Pretend its the wind blowing."

She could do that. After tapping on the door frame she took a step into the room. "Begging your pardon Commander."

He was lying on the bed and his lady friend was sitting with him. Both were dressed, thank the Maker, and neither looked happy. Gwyn thought people were always happy when they'd been tumbling. But what did she know? Its not like she'd ever done it.

"Gwyn. Come in." Just seeing her lightened his mood somehow. The way she edged into the room as if expecting something to bite her. In deference to her obvious nerves he rolled off the bed and stood. "Tell me what you've found."

"Lady Rowena ser."

"Already? Garavel was right you are good."

Feeling her face flush she looked down at the floor. "It wasn't hard. She's set up a camp a day's walk from here. Her and six mercenaries. Hired it looks like. Not too good. I got past 'em without too much trouble."

"Didn't I tell you not to take risks?"

"Yes ser, sorry ser." Gwyn took a quick look at the woman. A Dalish they said, like that foul mouthed hag she'd punched. "Begging your pardon for the interruption my lady." Out of habit she dipped a curtsey.

"Why did you?"

"They weren't watching too well like I say. And Lady Rowena, she had some things that looked interesting."

"Interesting, how?"

"A map. I didn't take it 'cause she'd know something was wrong if it was gone. I had a good look and I think its the Vigil."

"Not sure Gwyn?"

Gwyn edged closer to him and lowered her voice. "Can't read ser."

"Apologies Gwyn." He'd have to do something to rectify that. "Anything else?"

"Poison bottles and a dead rat." Frowning she thought about that. "Don't think the dead rat was important. Most likely testing the poison on him."

"Him?"

"Thought it best to check."

"Ah." Again she didn't so much as seem to be about to smile. How could she say that and not smile? "Very thorough of you."

"Yes ser."

"Was that all?"

"Yes ser."

"You have an opinion?"

"That mage that flirts with the females, he's not under the mind control. She knows. She's going to try to poison you. Worrying that she had enough poison to kill all of us. Not sure if she would though."

"No?"

"Lady Rowena wasn't ever that mean. Always said thank you when you served her. Not like. Well that is. Not like some."

"My father you mean Gwyn? Did you serve him?"

"Once ser, maybe twice." She slid backwards a step. "Can I be about my business? Got to eat."

"Yes go and eat. Thank you for you good work."

"Yes ser." Flushing again she darted out.

"Quick on her feet isn't she."

Caethes knew when a woman was interested and that one was interested in Nathaniel. He didn't know, men could be very dense sometimes. After a moment to wonder if she should worry, she decided she shouldn't. He seemed more amused by Gwyn than attracted. Gwyn was little more than a child, she'd fall in and out of love many times before becoming a woman. Her attraction to Nathaniel wouldn't last past the next handsome man she saw.

"Can they poison us?"

"I don't know. I'll speak to Garavel about where our water comes from. The well is in the Courtyard but if Rowena knows its source. Its possible."

He didn't want to believe Rowena would to such lengths just to kill him. Potentially kill so many innocents to avenge her family?

Bryce would be horrified.


	6. Chapter 6

Nate paced around the table. It helped him think. "I can't believe Rowena would kill so many just to get to me."

"You'd have to be crazy. Wouldn't you?" Sigrun had her feet up and appeared relaxed. She was anything but relaxed. This whole thing with the human woman set her nerves on edge.

"Crazy?" Stopping Nate stared at Ceri with narrowed eyes. "Ceri."

"Don't you dare." Anders took one step forward, hand half raised and already crackling with lightning, when Ceri stopped him.

"I know what Nate means. What would I do?"

"Yes. Tell us. Would you kill the whole Keep for one man?"

"Oh great, the maleficar is crazy. Just what we need." Oghren flinched when Sigrun smacked him with her dagger pommel. "Watch that thing, girl."

"If it was me, you'd be dead now. Long dead in that room in Denerim. Rowena is too angry. Can't kill effectively if you're angry. Much better to just do it." She waved her arms and they all ducked. "Yes, like that. If I wanted to kill you, I'd do it right now. When you don't expect it."

Anders had to laugh. "You all look like scared chickens." Except Nate, strangely, he was smiling at Ceri. "Stop flirting with my woman Howe, or I'll turn you into a toad."

"Don't be silly." Ceri slipped her hand into Anders' and smiled back at Nate. "What are you going to do?"

"Empty the Keep. Send everyone to Amaranthine until this is settled."

"Run away! Oghren doesn't run from a fight." He slammed his axe on the floor to emphasise that. "Never."

"I agree, we should stay here. Its cowardly to run."

"I won't leave you." Caethes put her hand on Nate's arm to get his attention. "My place is with you." Not sure what to make of his raised eyebrow, she ignored it. "We'll face it together."

"All Wardens together!"

Anders frowned at Nate who was back to smiling at Ceri. "I told you to stop that."

"Tell me what to do Ceri."

"Walk out the front gate alone and unarmed. She'll try to kill you then. Won't be able to resist."

"Is that what you'd do?"

"Me? Andraste's tits no. I'd find Rowena and show her how Blood wound works."

"Are you taking advice from a crazed maleficar, Commander?"

"I don't like you." Ceri flicked her hand.

Anders didn't bother asking Ceri to release the spell, he dispelled it and enjoyed the sight of Velanna falling to floor, a lot more than he should have. "Tsk tsk. Don't put crushing prison on Grey Wardens Ceri, its, rude."

"She was rude to me first."

"Nonetheless. Don't."

Conscious of the need to appear in charge, Nate cleared his throat. "Order please. We need to concentrate on the problem at hand." He jolted at a loud bang. "Thank you Gwyn."

"Yes ser." Gwyn put Oghren's axe on the table again and stepped back to her place beside Garavel. She wasn't leaving. The Commander could say what he wanted but she find some way to stay here.

"Now if you're all finished? My preference is to clear the Keep but that will take too long and will draw too much attention. I could try walking out alone but that would smell like a trap. Our only option is to capture Rowena and bring her here."

"Make her drink the water." Gwyn flushed when he looked at her. "Beg pardon, Commander."

"Quiet girl." Garavel patted Gwyn's shoulder. He was in sympathy with her thoughts but it wasn't her place to speak out.

Ceri looked from Nate to the girl and back and again. "I like her." Her voice was soft and only Anders heard it.

Apart from glancing down at her, Anders' only response was to squeeze her hand.

"That's what we'll do. Our scout has found her camp which makes things easy. I'll take a small group out. That should excite the least amount of comment."

"Who you going to take Commander? Me I hope? Haven't been any decent fights around here since the darkspawn ran off."

"Sorry Oghren, this calls for stealth. Anders and Ceri. I'll need a healer and to be frank I don't think I'm getting Anders alone even if I wanted to."

"Good guess Commander." Anders grinned at Ceri when she bounced on her toes and clapped.

"Gwyn."

"Yes ser?"

"You'll be coming. You're the only one who knows the way."

"Yes ser." She looked up when Garavel patted her shoulder again. "I'll do my best ser."

"I know girl. Just be careful."

"The rest of you, fortify the keep. Garavel is in command while I'm gone and you'll follow his orders. Understood?" They grumbled a bit but finally agreed. Grey Wardens, they hated anyone in charge but another Warden.

"Oh. One final thing. Don't drink the water."

. . .

"I should be going with you." Caethes watched Nathaniel pack his supplies for the journey.

"We'll be fine Caethes. Anders is the best healer I've seen. I don't know Ceri's capabilities but if she can paralyse Velanna she must be good."

"What about the scout? She's not a Warden."

"True, but she knows where Rowena's camp is." Pausing he glanced around the room. "Am I forgetting anything?"

"Me."

"I have to take a small group, you know that." Going over to her, Nate lifted her chin. "A small group moves faster and more quietly."

"I know. I'd just prefer to be with you."

"I'd prefer that too." Wishing he could kiss her, Nate had to settle for running his thumb across her mouth. "Unfortunately we can't always have what we want, can we."

"Nathaniel."

"Shh." Bending he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Everything will be fine."

Caethes lifted her face. "Kiss me goodbye."

"Are you sure?" When she nodded, he slowly moved down until their lips touched.

. . .

"Nice armour." Ceri ran her hand down the other elf's arm. "We match." Her armour was a dense black she must have dyed herself. The other scouts wore Vigil armour.

"Thank you my lady." Gwyn could feel her face heating and cursed her fair skin. "If you don't mind me saying, that style of robe suits you."

"It does doesn't it? And call me Ceri. I'm not a lady."

"I can attest to that." Anders grinned at Ceri's giggle. "Do you cut your own hair? No, don't back away, I'm not being rude. I like it. It seems to suit you." She chopped it off with a dagger by the looks of it. He'd bet good gold it was long once and she'd cut it all off for some reason of her own.

"Yes ser. Thank you ser."

"Anders. We'll be travelling together and I prefer to be less formal with my travelling companions. Your name is Gwyn isn't it?"

"Yes ser. Anders."

"That's better isn't it?" What a solemn little thing she was. He'd make it a project to see her smile, no, hear her laugh, before this was over. "Is that the Howe bow I see you carrying?"

"Beg pardon ser?" Puzzled Gwyn pulled the bow off her back and studied it. "The Commander gave it to me. Said he didn't need it no more."

"Nate gave it to you?" Anders took the bow when she held it out. "Yes, see here the Howe crest. Its his grandfather's bow. I'd have thought he'd need this pried from his cold dead hands."

"You're all ready?" Nate shouldered his pack and walked briskly up to the small group. "Caethes will be coming with us."

"Begging your pardon Commander?" Gwyn took the bow from Anders and held it out to the Commander. "You can't be giving this to me."

"Haven't we settled that? The bow is yours."

"No ser. Its yours. I won't be taking it."

"Gwyn." Her mouth set stubbornly. "Fine. Swap with me." Pulling his own bow free he held it out. "Come, come you need a weapon."

"But ser." Eyes wide she stared at the bow. "I can't take that."

"Are you trying to annoy me? Because if you are its working."

She supposed a fancy expensive bow was better than something that belonged with his children. "Thank you ser."

"If we're all ready now? Let's get moving."

. . .

"Thank you for letting me come." Caethes tried to put her hand on Nathaniel's arm but he moved away.

"You were right. I can send the scout ahead and not be caught short if we run into trouble."

"Please. Nathaniel. I'm sorry."

"Its alright. I understand." He understood why the woman he loved, who professed to love him, would flinch away when he tried to kiss her. "We'll worry about it later."

"I think we've done that too much. Left things until later."

"There didn't seem to be many options. You know what I feel. What I want. Its your choice whether that's enough for you."

"Enough to give up who I am?"

That she had to ask spoke volumes to Nate. Recalling his thoughts that day on the roof he sighed. No, it wasn't enough. "Its not is it?"

"I didn't mean that. I love you Nathaniel, I do, and I want nothing more than to be with you for as long as possible."

"As long as I don't want to touch you."

"If you want to with someone else. I won't."

"No! Don't even think about saying what I know you're about to say. Andraste's blood, don't you know me better than to even think I'd agree to such a thing?" Frustrated he stopped walking. "Is the idea of my bedding you that repugnant Caethes?"

"All my life I was told humans are evil, stupid and not to be trusted. I was told that allowing one to even kiss me would pollute my blood and if it was done with my consent, I would be cast out and no longer considered Dalish. We're told humans are responsible for every wrong that's befallen our kind, the loss of our homeland, the loss of our culture and the loss of our very lives. I know its pointless to hate all humans for what some did and continue to do, but its a difficult thing to forget completely. I want to stay here with you and have some kind of life but its not an easy thing to turn my back on my clan."

"If it was easy for you, you wouldn't be who you are." He was relieved when she laughed. "It shouldn't be easy for you."

"I'm grateful you understand. I have been grateful even if I've taken advantage of your good nature."

"We will have to resolve this, you know that? I promised it would be your decision, but, I'm finding it difficult now."

"Difficult?"

"I'm a man Caethes, not a eunuch."

"Oh. Oh of course. I didn't think."

"At the very least Rowena has provided me with a distraction."


	7. Chapter 7

"We're getting close Commander. Best I go ahead."

Nate cocked an eyebrow at Gwyn's sudden bossiness. No, now he looked at her, not bossiness, focus. She was focused on her target and they were in her way.

"Go. Be careful girl."

"Yes ser." She dashed off into the bushes.

Caethes hadn't heard Nate call the other elves at the Keep 'girl' like that. Usually that term was used to servants by their human masters. Nate didn't think like other nobles, or did he? When she looked at him, she saw he was frowning in the direction Gwyn had run.

"Is something wrong Nathaniel?"

"I don't like." He shook his head, stopping himself from voicing his concern. He didn't like sending Gwyn out there alone. She was too young, truth be told, very much too young for this. Both Garavel and he were of a mind on that but unfortunately he'd had no choice.

"Nothing." Time for them to follow. "We'll follow Gwyn. Try to keep as quiet as possible. She'll veer back once she's found their camp."

"Lead on fearless leader." Anders grinned when Nate sighed at him. "What?"

"Just be quiet. Both of you and try not to scare the wildlife."

"Yes ser!" Ceri saluted smartly.

Wonderful. Two smart alec mages. The Maker hated him. He'd wondered, but now he was sure of it. He looked at Caethes but she simply nodded. Someone was sensible at least.

"Let's go." He didn't need to be armed yet, but something in the air made him unhook his bow. He was so used to carrying it that it wouldn't impede his movements at all.

Bending low he ran lightly in the direction Gwyn had, hearing the mages crashing behind him. He must send them for some scout training when they got back to the Vigil. Even trying to be quiet they made enough noise to scare every animal from here to the Vigil.

Gwyn kept low and moved as quickly as she thought safe towards the place where she'd found the camp. They hadn't moved it and their camp fire glowed gently in the dark. Why was there a fire? It was like lighting a beacon. Slowing her pace down to almost a crawl, she edged closer.

Halting at the edge of the clearing she watched the seemingly empty camp and tried to understand what was going on. Where had they all gone? Leaving the camp unguarded would give any scouts the perfect opportunity to steal the poison.

Its a trap.

Hearing something 'snap' behind her she froze.

. . .

Nate spotted the light in the distance and stopped, hearing the mages come crashing up behind him. "Something's wrong."

"Wrong how?" Anders moved up next to Nate and peered into the dark. "Isn't that their camp fire?"

"Yes. Why light a fire, they must know we'd see it?"

Caethes put her hand on his arm. "Perhaps they don't think they need to hide?"

"Where's Gwyn? She should be with us by now." There was definitely something wrong. "Stay here." Frowning he moved cautiously closer to the camp site.

He was almost to the edge of the clearing when he spotted Gwyn. Moving up behind her he put his hand on her shoulder and felt her jolt. "Gwyn. Its me."

Gwyn took a quick breath. Silly to let her guard down. Even the Commander shouldn't have been able to sneak up on her. "Its empty ser." She kept her voice at the same low tone as his.

"That's odd." A trap perhaps?

"I'm thinking a trap Commander. Lure us in to get the poison."

"That makes sense." It left a lot to chance. "Or the poison was a ruse to get us out here?" There was little point standing here debating it. "We'll go back and regroup."

"Yes ser." Gwyn followed him back to the others, worrying it over in her head. Did Rowena Cousland go to all this trouble to lure the Commander outside? To her mind it left too much to chance.

Finding the mages where he'd left them, Nate didn't bother with being quiet. With his luck, if he startled them, Ceri would knock him out before realising who it was.

"The camp's empty. Could be a trap to lure us out."

Gwyn blinked. Seems her and the Commander were of a mind. "Seems risky ser, if you don't mind me saying. How would they know you'd come?"

"My thoughts too girl. Very risky."

"She wouldn't lose anything if you didn't come Nathaniel." Caethes gripped her staff and frowned at him. Girl. She didn't like that at all.

"Hostages?" Ceri slipped her hand into Anders' and thought about it. "I'd take hostages. If you're not here, I could use them to lure you out."

"Probably best we don't stand here discussing it ser, they could ambush us."

"Yes, of course. Let's move back and find a safe spot to camp."

. . .

"We'll take turns keeping watch. I'll take first watch." Nate nodded to Anders, you're next."

"Lovely, thanks."

"Then Gwyn. The rest of you get some sleep. We'll head back to Rowena's camp in the morning."

"Ser." Gwyn waited for the Commander to acknowledge her before speaking again. "If I could speak to you ser?"

"What is it girl?" She jerked her head towards the trees. "Alright. We'll be back."

Caethes frowned after them. "I don't like it."

Anders glanced up from unrolling his bedroll. "No one likes it Caethes, but here we are. Camping. Lovely."

"Not that you fool, that." She pointed to where they could just make out Nathaniel and Gwyn. "Girl. Its rude."

"Maker's sake Caethes, are you serious?" He checked Ceri in case she needed help and found her sitting on her unrolled bedroll combing her hair. Giving his attention back to Caethes he shrugged. "Girl? What's wrong with that?"

"Another ignorant shem."

"Don't call Anders a shem. Its rude."

"No ruder than Nathaniel calling Gwyn 'girl' as if she's a servant and not a soldier." As if she was due no respect because she's an elf.

"I see." Anders sighed and sat on his now unrolled bedroll. "Am I right in assuming you love Nate?" She nodded. "You couldn't possibly love him and believe he'd think like that."

"I don't want to but you heard it as clearly as I did. He doesn't call anyone else that, just Gwyn."

"She is a girl." Ceri paused in the act of tying her hair up and shrugged. "17, she told me. Nate's reminding both of them how old she is."

"Both of them?"

"Yes." Finished Ceri settled down. "He wants to bed her."

"Thank you Ceri. Very much." Anders shook his head. Trust Ceri to come out with the truth like that. He'd felt the energy between them as well as she had. During the meeting in the hall, even with the number of people there, he'd felt it. Nate was doing his best to ignore it and he was pretty sure Gwyn was too inexperienced to even realise what it was.

Ordinarily Nate's self control would win, of that Anders had no doubt. These weren't ordinary times however. The woman he loved was keeping him in limbo and Rowena was adding to his stress. If Caethes didn't make up her mind soon, it could be enough to push Nate into doing something he'd never usually think of doing.

"Make up your mind soon Caethes. For all our sakes."

"Its not that easy Anders." She glared when he sniffed at her. "What could you know about it shem?"

"Its a simple question Caethes, which do you love more, Nate or your people?"

. . .

"Its a sound plan ser." Gwyn could see him thinking it over. "They'll ambush us, you know they will. We need to find them first."

"I know girl, but the mages are like a herd of cattle." Even Caethes for all her Dalish roots didn't move very quietly.

"I know. I'm thinking I could go alone."

"No."

"But ser."

"No. You're too young to be out here as it is, I'm not sending you into even more danger alone."

"That's stupid." Gwyn took a step closer and poked him. "Its the best plan ser and you know it."

"Don't poke your commander, Gwyn."

"Yes ser, sorry ser." When he blew out a breath she knew he'd given in. "I'll go now ser. No point giving them time to find us."

"Be careful Gwyn. Please." His hand on her shoulder stopped her moving. "I'd hate to have to tell Garavel I'd managed to get you killed."

"No ser, that would be bad." It could happen, she could die. "Goodbye ser." On impulse she lifted up onto her toes and kissed him. "Keep yourself safe."

She was gone before he could even react. Shaking his head he turned to go back into camp and found Caethes, standing at the edge of the of the small clearing, watching him. Andraste's flaming knickers.

"Nathaniel."

"Not now Caethes. One problem at a time, yes?"


	8. Chapter 8

_If I'd thought to name my chapters for this fic, I'd call this one "Deus ex machina"._

_It also the final chapter. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed. I hope you enjoyed one of my first forays into fanfiction. I'm sad to say goodbye to this tale but its time to finish Nate and Caethes' story. _

_Apologies for making up my own reason why Rendon sent his little blighter to the Free Marches. Hopefully I haven't offended established lore too much._

_I wrote the ending first, if anyone is interested in that, but it was never intended to be the end of Nate's journey. Just the end of this story._

...

Dead. Gwyn moved quickly around the bodies just to make sure. They were all dead. The six mercenaries she'd seen at the camp with Rowena Cousland were dead. Not poisoned, not unless poison made you bleed from a gaping chest wound. Someone had very efficiently sliced these men up into wolf bait.

The area where she'd found them was silent. Nothing stirred not even birds. Which meant this was a fresh kill.

No female bodies, which might mean Rowena was still alive. Or her body had been dumped somewhere else.

Staying crouched, Gwyn turned in a circle, searching for something to give her a clue as to who had done this. Definitely a who and not a what, those were sword wounds. There. The rising sun glinted off something on the ground. Walking over she picked it and held it up to the light.

"Interesting." Tucking the small object into her pouch she trotted back to report in.

. . .

"I don't like waiting here. Its like putting up a sign that says 'come kill us we're just standing around'."

"Anders." Nate would have sighed but there wasn't any point, Anders never noticed when did that. "We're waiting for Gwyn to report back."

"Yes and that's another thing. Sending that child off into danger alone! What were you thinking?"

"Perhaps I was thinking that she's more competent to handle herself than you are!"

Anders took a step back. That was the first time he could remember actually managing to cause Nate to lose his temper. Not for lack of trying either, he'd even made a game of it at one point. Now he'd done it, he thought perhaps it had been a good thing he'd never managed it before.

"Nathaniel."

"Commander."

Nate turned in relief. "Gwyn. What did you find?"

"The mercenaries, ser, they're dead. I found this near the bodies." Gwyn held out the small object she'd found. "Its a pommel ser, must have fallen off."

"So I see. Well done girl." He smiled when she flushed. "Go and eat something."

"Yes ser, thank you ser."

"What did our girl find?" Anders took the object from Nate. "Is that some kind of heraldry?"

"Its the Cousland family seal." Nate nodded when Anders looked up, eyebrows raised. "Yes, it appears Teryn Cousland has come to fetch his sister." Taking the pommel back he turned it in his fingers. "This didn't fall off. Its been pried out. I'd say Fergus has left us a message."

Caethes held her hand out for the pommel. "What kind of message Nathaniel?"

"Come visit me and see my mad sister?" Anders grinned when Nate sighed. "No?"

"Gwyn? How fresh were the bodies?"

Gwyn twisted around. "Few hours at the most ser." After swallowing she pointed her spoon. "Went off that way I'd say."

"Thoughts?"

Caethes slipped her hand around Nathaniel's arm, ignoring the startled way he looked at her. "I think we should follow them."

"I agree." Anders eyed the way Caethes was marking her territory but managed to stop himself commenting. It seemed a little competition had fired her up. Good.

"Me too. I've never met a Teryn." Ceri looked forward to it. "Will he be upset when I kill Rowena?"

"I think I might be best alone." Nate had to smile at Ceri's pout. "Now we know there's no danger, I don't need you to come with me. I'll take Caethes. The rest of you go back to the Vigil."

. . .

Fergus Cousland threw a few pieces of wood on the fire. "You make good time for someone on foot."

"Fergus." Nate bowed. "I received your invitation." Understanding the gesture to mean he should sit, he found a spot near the fire and did so. "This is Caethes."

"Yes, we've met. A pleasure my lady."

"Teryn Cousland." Caethes sat on the other side of Nate from Fergus. It seemed both polite and sensible.

"Shall we not play games and I'll admit I know you're after my sister."

"I'll admit I am after your sister. She tried to kill me and I agreed to overlook that. I'm not interested in fighting with you Fergus but I can't allow Rowena to put my people in danger."

"That, problem, has been dealt with." His sister had caused the deaths of six men. "If you'll leave the matter with me I'll ensure it doesn't happen again."

"I have the right of high justice." Nate felt a sense of satisfaction when Fergus growled. "I have no intention of exercising my right however. If I have your word Rowena won't threaten my people again, I'll accept that."

"You have it. She's troubled by the past, I'm sure you understand that."

"I do." Nate glanced down at Caethes when she put her hand on his arm. "Of course I do."

"I've, arranged, for help for her. Its my hope that one day she'll be, well, enough to admit she's done wrong."

"She will."

Fergus stood and bowed. "Thank you for your forbearance. I won't forget it."

"I'm in your debt Fergus for things I can't repay."

"No. Not your debt, your father's and that's been paid."

They watched silently as he mounted his horse and rode away. "That's more than Rowena deserves." Nate picked up a stick and threw it in fire, much as Fergus had done. "Fergus is very much like his father."

"Is he?"

"Yes." Time to go back. "Ready to go?"

"Nathaniel." When he turned his head to look at her, Caethes swallowed nervously. "Kiss me."

"Are you certain this time?"

"Yes. Please." She lifted her face in invitation. "Please." He smiled a little and bent slowly towards her until their lips met. Caethes pulled away before she could stop herself. "I'm sorry."

"Are you?" One hand lifted her chin until he could see her face properly. "I've never told you this but my father sent me to the Free Marches because I was, involved, with the wrong woman. I'm sure he thought he doing the right thing, saving the family name."

"The wrong woman?"

"I loved her desperately and she me. Together we were going to conquer the world." He hadn't thought about her for years. "You're the first woman I've met who I think could make me feel like that again. Do you want to make me feel like that Caethes?"

"I think so."

Sighing he let her go and stood. "You think so. Caethes, you have to decide. I can't wait any longer. I'm sorry."

"I. Can't. I love you Nathaniel, I do. Just don't ask me to decide."

"What do you want me to do? Let this go on as it has? I can't do that. I'm sorry but I can't. I need more than that."

"Do you know how hard this is for me? Do I give up my people or you? Its not a simple thing Nathaniel, not simple at all."

"No?" Thinking about that he walked a few paces away from her. "Perhaps it isn't." He could tell her but would that make it easier or harder for her to decide? "I do understand, even if it seems I don't. Your clan, your people, your traditions, they're important to you. They're who you are."

"Yes."

"I understand the consequences of your decision. If I didn't I wouldn't have waited this long to demand one."

"I don't know what to do. I don't."

This was going nowhere. "Leave."

"What? Nathaniel."

"You're not going to decide, you don't want to." Picking up his pack he threw it over his shoulder. "If you want to come back to Vigil with me you're welcome. You'll need a few days to say your goodbyes. Take whatever provisions you need for your journey."

Stunned she stood still and watched him walk away from her. She'd never expected him to demand she decide. How could he expect to her to decide, just like that? So quickly.

Picking up her own pack, she followed him more slowly. Thinking for the first time about how she'd live her life without him. Could she do that? Caethes remembered what Anders had said to her. Who did she love more, Nathaniel or her people? Finally it seemed, she was realising she couldn't have both of them.

. . .

Anders took one look and knew something had happened. Not with Fergus Cousland but with them. "Did you give Teryn Cousland my best?"

Nate paused. "We came to an agreement. There's an end to it." Hearing Caethes come in behind him he shook his head. "Caethes is leaving." Unable to deal with questions he walked away.

"I see you decided." When she looked up at him with tears on her face he put his arms around her and let her cry on his chest. "Silly girl. You'll regret this you know."

"He told me to leave."

"All you'd have to do is go after him and insist on staying. You won't though will you?"

"No."

. . .

Caethes walked slowly down the path with her head bent, not wanting to see the grounds or the Keep. She had enough in her memory of her time here without adding last images and thoughts.

"Caethes." Nate's voice made her stop. "Don't come back."

She nodded without turning and started walking again. His voice hadn't been angry or hurt but sad. She'd made him sad. The last thing she'd wanted to do.

Lifting her head she took a deep breath. If she did nothing else for him, she'd do this one thing.

She'd never come back.


End file.
